In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize