now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
It's blow job season.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize