Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
