If i come over, it means nothing
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
