Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
