Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
