dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
