Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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