I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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