I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Too much gin, very little bucket
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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