How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
