I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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