both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
