i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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