I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize