ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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