I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
