I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
