I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize
