I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
