Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Everything about him screamed your future.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Randomize
