My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
