Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
