evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
What a dumb baby whore.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
