that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Btw I puked in your glovebox
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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