I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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