If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize