This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
