my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
