I wannas sexs uuuuu
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
