i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
