It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Randomize
