i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
