If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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