Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
