Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
