Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
