What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
