What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Randomize
