If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Ladies don't puke and tell
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize