the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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