Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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