would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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