...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I have demons in me.
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Randomize