I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
