only if we run a train.
done.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
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