i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
