is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
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