I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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