I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Randomize
