Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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