I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
There's always time for handjobs
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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