i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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