I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
