Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
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