I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
