You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
You need a sexual gate keeper
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize