they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
