i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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